Freddie and Boris's "Bear Magic" On Line Magazine for Teddy Bears, Soft Toys and their Pawtners
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Freddie and Boris's "Bear Magic" On Line Magazine for Teddy Bears, Soft Toys and their Pawtners
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Continuation of the Return of the Nemeis ..... INSTALMENT 17
East China Sea: CIRCA AD1300 After another two days of sailing, Hong Kong came into view as a dark coloured blot on the horizon. “Land A! That is to say, land hoy! I mean, land ahoy!” hollered the speech-challenged lookout enthusiastically. Within moments Captain
Yoshi had launched himself up and out of the hatch. “That’s Hong Kong alright!”
agreed our “One turn of the glass, Sir!” As it turned out, we
actually had less than a third of a turn before we were violently intercepted by
two tumid, lumbering “Hail, foreign ship!”
called a scruffy-looking bear from the prow of the left-hand boat. “You have
entered Hong Kong “We hope to parley!” Captain Yoshi hollered back. “We have all we need! You may leave!” Captain Yoshi looked rather concerned at this and attempted to explain. “We have come to offer you a new technology!” “Explain!” “We would like to offer
you a technology which will allow you to move forward or backwards along the
long linear line Apparently this was a
bad move. “Heresy!” came the furious response. “Only His Superiority can do so!
You are under That’s right folks - he had found us!
INSTALMENT 18 Panic stricken, I
watched as a Chinese bear tugged a dingy onto his deck. Then - after a great
deal of fuss - convinced “No!” I shouted. I wasn’t actually sure what I was saying “no” to, but it seemed a good response. This seemed to rather offend Dameon Kid, “No? No? No, no, No! No NO’S! “Should we offer him some merl? He seems a little agitated,” suggested Budd Banana quietly. “Maybe even some sake!” agreed Captain Yoshi wholeheartedly. “I’m not agitated!” Hollered Dameon Kid. “I just want you to know that there are to be no No’s!” “You really ought to have somebody go get him some merl,” I whispered to Budd. “Samatushi,” Budd
called one of the deck hands. “If you would please be so kind as to fetch one of
the casks of merl “Your Merl is on it’s way!” I called calmingly to Dameon Kid. “Waaa!” The Kid had reached the hull of our ship and was endeavoring to haul himself up the side. “We should get him off there,” I noted as he began to propel himself upwards rather violently. “Here’s your Merl,” Samatushi had returned with a whole barrel of the stuff. “Thank you,” I said as I rolled the barrel over the edge of the ship. A muffled cry rang out
from below as the barrel tumbled down the hull and detached Dameon Kid from his
perch. He wasn’t actually
drowning, of course, but he seemed so very concerned that I thought it wise to
say to Budd, “Perhaps Nodding in agreement, Budd signaled for one of the deck hands to extend a fishhook down for Dameon Kid to grab. Once he was pulled up onto the deck, I remarked, “Well, I guess you’re our prisoner now.” “NO!” “No No’s, Dameon,” I smiled sweetly.
*For those of you
who don’t know what captain Yoshi was talking about in the fifth paragraph, sake
is a form of
INSTALMENT 19 DAMEON KID’S LAIR: Modern Day Oceania 17:36:09 Until Dimensional Collapse Following his rather temporary capture, Dameon Kid’s lair had been left almost entirely undisturbed. “Where do you suppose we ought to start?” The Guppy asked Rumble as they entered the main area of the labyrinth. “Well, those very convenient signs say that the archenemy reception area is to the right, so why don’t we start there?” “Archenemy reception area?” questioned the Guppy a little incredulously. “Really?” “Better than being sent to the ‘inconsequential reception area’, don’t you think?” pointed out Rumble. “Oh, you won’t be needing to go to any reception areas,” sneered a voice that had more in common with sour milk that an actual human. “Why, I’m right here.” Smiling in a very smug sort of way, Dameon Kid stepped out from the shadows. “Gosh, and here I thought that I’d have to go looking all over the place for you! I couldn’t have you jeopardizing my plan after all! But this is great; it’s like a Christmas present!” He clapped his hands together gleefully and hopped a little on the spot. The Guppy’s hand slowly began to move to the peashooter in his jacket pocket, but Dameon interrupted, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Before anybody could react further, he dove toward The Guppy and snatched the straw. “Ha ha! You’re unarmed and I’m unharmed!” Dameon Kid hauled Rumble and The Guppy bodily forward down the passage, talking as he went. “I wouldn’t bother waiting for your friends on the surface to come rescue you - I’ve sealed this place up tighter than a sieve!.. Unlike my colleague.” “Colleague?” Rumble inquired questioningly. “Oh yes. I believe you know him. His name’s Dameon Kid.” The two members of the Bear Burgade stopped short and looked at each other, the same obvious question on both their lips. “I am Dameon Youngin. Allow me to introduce the Dameon council,” said Youngin as we entered a small, poorly lit room filled with another five evil humans. They all looked exactly like [Ta da da dah! (For full effect, don’t forget to sing this phrase.) Dameon Kid, and they were all clustered around a trussed-up bear who could only be [Once again, everyone - Ta da da dah!] Iver Riokamble, our missing scientist. INSTALMENT 20 Dameon Kid’s Lair: Modern Day Oceana 17:25:02 Until Dimensional Collapse “Is that you, Iver?” Rumble asked the scientist that they had been searching so frantically for. He would have been happy, save for the appearance of the Dameon Council. “Yes. Yes. Who are you?” he asked. “We spoke on the phone - I’m the Guppy.” “Oh yes! I remember you,” Iver brightened. “You wanted me to help prevent a dimensional collapse.” “Enough talk!” growled Dameon Youngin... at least, I think it was Dameon Youngin. It could have been any one of them. “We’re not talking,” the Guppy explained helpfully. “We’re holding a discussion without your approval.” “Huh?” “Oh yes. If you had disapproved of our discussion then we would be talking, but since we only lack your approval for our discussion we’ll keep discussing. That’s a good thing for me, of course, because you’re talking about not letting us have a talk.” “Can I disapprove of your discussion now?” asked one of the poor Dameons, looking rather befuddled. “Certainly not! I’ll disapprove of your disapproval!” “Oh dear. Such confusion,” said Iver. “I do disapprove.” “Humph!” said Dameon Somebody-or-other. “I don’t know what everybody’s talking about, but I will say that this is getting quite ridiculous. We need to decide what to do with them... don’t we, Dameons?” “But what are we to do?” asked another Dameon. “We can’t leave - I bet a whole bunch of their cohorts are just outside in that Harrier.” As it happened, the cohorts consisted solely of the bear piloting the Harrier and a techie fellow in the back. “I guess that mean’s we’ve got ourselves some hostages,” observed the first Dameon. My friends and I had possession of Dameon Kid in the past, but the Dameon Council had the leader of the whole Bear Burgade as a hostage in the present. *** Little did the Dameon Council know that The Guppy had - thinking quickly - activated his CB radio (budget cuts, you know) as soon as he and Rumble were captured. The radio had, of course, been transmitting - although not very well - everything that happened back to the techie in the Harrier. Upon realizing what was occurring, the pilot had informed the rest of the burgade of the situation. Close to one hundred aircraft were now parked outside the lair, and more were on their way. Not only was the boss being held hostage by what seemed to be a large group of Dameon Kid clones, but Rumble and Iver Riokamble had been captured along with him. Needless to say, nobody was quite sure where said clones had originated from. “What’s going on?” called a dog named Starfish who tended to gobble like a turkey (I’m confused too.) as he entered the packed emergency command center. “I’ll be in charge of the hostage situation. Gobble gobble! Please allow me to introduce Ftttt! He will be our negotiator for today.” “Look into my eyes... my large, shiny eyes...” whispered Ftttt, who did indeed have terribly, disproportionately large eyes. “He’s very out there... uh... that is to say... he’s an... outside consultant... yeah. Gobble gobble obb gobber!” explained Starfish. INSTALLMENT 21 Dameon Kid’s Lair: Modern Day Oceana 17:21:25 Until Dimensional Collapse For the first order of
business,” said Ftttt stepping forward. “We shall attempt to create intense
confusion in the enemy. “Um... Ftttt,”
interjected Starfish. “Are you quite certain about that course of action? Gobble
gobble obb gobber. It “Starfish, look into my
eyes. Look into my eyes. Do you see my eyes? Do you see the pupils... the
large... large... pupils “Gobble bobble obber
gobber eebble geeble!” agreed Starfish rather agitatedly as he shook his head
violently – almost as “Now,” said Ftttt. “Look into my eyes and see... that The Guppy shall now be known as... Kingfish.” “But just while he's a
hostage, right?” asked a rather scruffy looking bear from the Department of
Talent Requisition and This seemed to agitate
Ftttt. “Look into my eyes! Look at them! M.O.M. is always watching! Mars' Only
Monster... err... “Yes, Mr. Ftttt, sir,”
nodded the DTR-r-r-r’s bear rather tentatively. (okay, Resources bear - if you
must) {Can you “Now,” ordered Ftttt,
“I want to open some lines of communication. Will someone please see about
phoning the lair? “Sir!” interrupted the aformentioned edible communications bear, “One of the Dameons has answered the phone.” “Put him on speaker and look into my very large, shiny eyes...” “Who goes there! We have The Guppy!” shouted a Dameon over the phone. “Then you have nobody of consequence. We answer only to Kingfish,” replied Ftttt in his usual cryptic manner. “Um...” the Dameon
Council member paused, seemingly unsure of who Kingfish was. “Who’s Kingfish?”
he finally “Haven’t you heard?”
asked Ftttt. “Look into my eyes and you will see what you haven’t heard.
Kingfish was not always “Uh... One moment
please!” A beeping sound ensued as the phone was disconnected at the other end
of the line - “You see?” smiled Ftttt.
“They’re confused already! They have no clue that Kingfish used to be the
Guppy!” To be continued
........
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Bear Magic for Teddy Bears and Soft Toys All rights reserved Freddie and Boris Wednesday February 23, 2011
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